POEM_: If I Had not Loved You So

If I had not loved you so,
your distance
when with you
would not pain me thus…

If I had not wanted
to spend every moment
of my life with you;
I would not, now,
see every moment
with you, a pain.

But if you were not meant
to test me, at my most intense,
why were you ever destined
to come into my life?
Like the zillion others,
why did you not flit in
and out, like a butter-fly:
Beautiful in,
forgotten out?

Were you here
to test the very peaks
of my passion,
the very depths
of my despair,
the very last
of my patience?

Or were you here
to bring me the knowledge
that life can best be lived
if only lived free…

…from the encumbrances
of desire…

…even,
from love?

- owais

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